The feedback I received for my paper had several helpful
tips. Some examples are some cosmetic issues, such as for some reason my page
numbers were messed up and a few lines down into the text. I additionally had a
couple spelling errors that I will have to fix. Some other tips I received were
to maybe include other people who were affected by the Tide pod challenge, and
to include a little more history into why and how this challenge surfaced. (I
will probably link it to the popular “cinnamon challenge) that surfaced a
couple years ago and follow the evolution of what is considered “cool” in the
youth population to what is now extremely harming, and even killing children.
It also came to my attention that I may need to clarify some aspects of my
paper and I may be using too many “filler” words in some areas. Also, this is a
personal critique, but I think I should strengthen my thesis and conclusion,
and maybe have one more source to cite at the end of my essay. Another critique
I had was to specifically unpack where logos and pathos are employed in the
section of my essay where I write about how Tide is targeting the youth by
using a “cool” person to relay the information. Ultimately, before I submit my
final draft I will fix all of these issues and expand on several topics (such
as the logos and pathos detail previously mentioned) as well as fix the
cosmetic issues (which printed out weird for some reason.)
No comments:
Post a Comment